LINDIR, GRUDGINGLY AT YOUR SERVICE.
SET SOME BOUNDARIES IN YOUR WORKPLACE, MAN. IF YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION IS JUST “DOING ANYTHING ELROND DOESN’T WANT TO DO” YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR THE WORST IN LIFE.
The recent news about the extended edition reminded me that there’s meant to be more disrespectful dwarves at Rivendell stuff in there and I really hope it’s like an anarchist version of their raid on Bag End’s pantry, with Lindir being run ragged by Mahal’s Lil’ Assholes and their vibrant array of behavioural problems.
"Master Dwarf, please, the celebrated tapestries of Imladris are not for wiping your boots on."
"Traditionally one writes on paper, not on walls, and with writing implements, not every weapon you own."
“WE AGREE TO YOUR TERMS AND MENU SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE LET THE FLAUTIST GO.”
"Earlier, when I clearly said, DO NOT LAUNDER YOUR SOILED UNDER-CLOTHES IN OUR FORBIDDEN SACRED SPRINGS, you nodded. You nodded as if you understood what I was saying. I do not think you did.”
While Bilbo sits in the corner, sympathizing, “Just wait ‘til you see what they’ve done to your bathrooms.”